But All My Friends Have That App!

I teach a Digital Literacy course for parents.  Common Sense Media wrote the curriculum and it's very good.  I practice what I preach, so to speak. 

But it's not easy.

I have a 10-year-old daughter.  She's a digital kid.  Her friends are digital kids and most of the time, they know more than I do.  But I don't race to find out the latest and greatest, I just keep in mind that my job is to maintain boundaries.

Boundaries that keep my daughter safe.  

"But I won't visit the yucky sites!"

And I tell her "I trust you. I don't trust the app."  

Don't get me wrong.  She doesn't understand that.  She doesn't like it.  She gets very mad when I say that.  But I don't budge.

I understand something that no 10 year old understands.  That is that you just can't un-ring a bell.  What I mean is that once she sees something inappropriate (and yes, you know what kinds of things I mean) she cannot "un-see" it.  

She sees billboards and Super Bowl ads.  She looks at magazines and hears language that makes me blush.  I know there are many forces outside of my control.  But I can give my daughter the message that I do NOT approve of so many of the messages she gets.  I talk to her about them.  I WANT to be a square.  I want her to know how I feel about such things.  And I don't care that she thinks I'm mean.  In fact, I want her to think that!

Here's what I do (and what I recommend all parents do) with apps:

• I read any app information before I install it for her on her iPod touch.  If it has an age restriction that is not met, I don't approve it.  Even better, I've set up her iPod touch so that even if I tried to download it on her device, it won't install!  
• I let MY conscience be my guide, not my tween's or her friends' or even the app-maker.  I decide what's appropriate but I don't ignore the app-maker's recommendations.  I'm teaching my daughter how to respect limits.
• I IGNORE the static (all the I-hate-yous, you're-the-worst-mom-evers, all-my-friends-have-its, etc.).
• I don't care that other moms (even my friends) ignore the ratings on apps and let their kids have access to potentially inappropriate material.  I know why I do what I do and I know it's right for my family.

Susan Eppley

Leadership Parenting Coach

susan@ParentCoachAtlanta.com

 

Please let me know what you think!  Share this with your friends and let's have a discussion!

Do you limit apps for your kids?  Do you follow or ignore the app recommendations?