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Adventures in Parenting: OMG LOL WTFBBQ

Making sense of this strange new world from a mom's perspective

I don’t understand pop culture.

I stare at magazine covers and think: "Who are these people?" "And why should I care?" Celebrities confuse me. I don’t know what all those texting acronyms mean. I rely on Wikipedia and Google to make sense of this strange world. 

Who’s on first?

It started a few years ago. A co-worker had seen "Luda" while out in Atlanta one night. "Who?" I asked.

“Ludacris,” she responded. What?

[Insert me googling “ludicrous” + music and getting “Ludacris”]

"Of course," I said. "That is so cool." Was it? I didn't know.

[Insert me looking up "Ludacris" on "YouTube."]

"Was he nice?" I asked. My friend said yes and showed me a picture of her and Luda on her phone. His name says it all.

And I don’t know who the Kardashians are. I'm guessing they're the super villain family from General Hospital in the early 80’s, right?

Where's the "OC?" Who lives in "The Hills?" Who the heck is "Yeezy?" Oh, he's the guy who interrupted Taylor Swift, but I don't know who Taylor Swift is.  And how did "Yeezy" get an invite to William and Kate's royal wedding? Are you confused yet? Grab a magazine. It gets worse PDQ.

ROTFLMAO or 10-4 Good buddy

Later, I get an instant message from another colleague, "WTFBBQ."

Thank goodness for urbandictionary.com. I was able to respond "IMHO" and still get a "LOL."

Thanks to my "tweenaged" niece I know that "cool" is "kewl" and "LOL" is already passé. A friend posted "FML" and I was like "WTFBBQ! You can’t go around cursing on the internet like that." Even in acronym.

I’m on Twitter, but I can’t condense my thoughts to 140 characters or less. I’m a verbose writer. #IAVW #DecaturGAPatch @NickiSalcedo. #RT that and I’ll #FF you back. But you can’t "DM" me until you "follow" me like a stalker or "friend" me even though we're only acquaintances.

Apl.d.ap

My parents, who are old enough to be old, have iPhones. My dad is 78 and sometimes has a question about an ap he's downloaded. I can’t help him. I don’t have an iPhone. I have a rotary phone plugged into the wall and an operator manually connects me to the other party.

My sisters went to see the Black Eyed Peas in concert last year. My older sisters are cooler than I am. I spent the Super Bowl halftime show asking my nieces and nephews who the performers were.

Apl.d.ap? Taboo? In my day, singers had nice normal names like Joey McIntyre (NKOTB anyone?).

The only person I recognized during the show was Slash and when my nephew asked what group he was from I said Guns-N-Roses. Oops. What do I know? I never listened to that kind of music anyway. Then I realized that the name Slash is no more or less ludicrous than Ludacris.

30 is the new 20 unless you have kids. Then you're really 50.

When my kids grow up, I won’t bore them with stories about walking uphill both ways in the snow.

I’ll tell them that in my day we used whole words. We said the entire word. We wrote all the letters of the words.

When I went to my first concert (New Kids On The Block at Six Flags Over Georgia or NKOTB@SFOGA), I couldn’t text my "BFF" about it. I couldn’t post it on TwitPic or YouTube from my phone. I didn't have a phone. I had a quarter in the pockets of my acid washed jeans.

I had to watch the entire concert with my own two eyes and listen with my own two ears, and rely on my (OMG) memory (4GB at least).

There aren’t enough emoticons to capture how confused I am.  :)

WWJD

Turn water into wine? TW2W? Walk on water? WOW? WWJ really do? Probably not use acronyms. FYI in a year, this will change again and my current lament will be historical hieroglyphics. BTW still need help? Try http://www.internetslang.com. TFLMK.

Feels like I just took an eye exam. . . TTYL H8R.

Lindy Start March 06, 2011 at 12:36 PM
OMG! I agree. Thank goodness my 3 yo doesn't have a phone to text with otherwise, my phone would constantly be set on urbandictionary.com. And, when I text on my phone I still use entire words, correctly punctuated. Thank you. And if my tweet must be smaller, I tweet shrink it. Hopefully the people reading it know what the heck it means. Laughing. Follow me: UnstoppableLCS on Twitter! Fab!
Marla Blair March 06, 2011 at 01:03 PM
Cute article. I have to admit, though, that I'm a pop culture junkie. I love knowing what's going on in music and technology. I text on my phone (and on my iPod Touch!). I send out hundreds of Tweets a day. Of course this too will embarrass my kid when she's old enough to understand - I know I can't win. FML. OMG. WTF? TTYL!
Marilyn Baron March 06, 2011 at 01:39 PM
I must be "kewl" because I have heard of Ludacris (not Luda) and I know who the Kardashians are, but don't care. You lost me at LOL. You'll have to define WTFBBQ off-line. I think I took my kids to the same New Kids on the Block concert. The other day we rode by a marquis and saw a Justin Bieber film playing in two theaters and my husband said WTFBBQ or words to that effect, translation, Who the heck is Justin Bieber? You're ahead of the game if you Tweet. At least I blog (www.petitfoursandhottamales). Marilyn Baron
Berta Platas March 06, 2011 at 03:14 PM
I laughed at this. Had to look up WTFBBQ - I thought it was an "ack!" reaction to really bad pulled pork on the grill in your neighbor's back yard. Um, no.
Nicki Salcedo March 06, 2011 at 09:01 PM
In my house BBQ really does mean barbecue even in tweets and texts.
Kate Awtrey March 07, 2011 at 12:45 AM
"I don’t have an iPhone. I have a rotary phone plugged into the wall and an operator manually connects me to the other party." Best line ever.
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 01:10 AM
Lindy, I love knowing other unstoppable Decatur moms. I am now following you and thanks for playing #IAVW. There are so few of us left. Happy writing.
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 01:32 AM
Marla, we need young whipper-snapper moms like you who understand the interweb and reprogramming the clocks on the microwave when the power goes out. We need to prove that not all moms are clueless. TTYL for real!
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 01:52 AM
I'm not yet a fan of tweeting. I take it like medicine. Feels like a series of inside jokes I have to force my way into. I only tweet when I have a blog or column otherwise I'm WTFBBQ. If your husband really reacted that way to Bieber there are no words for that. Wait, FTW!
Meg Clark March 07, 2011 at 02:09 AM
I only know Cris "Ludacris" Bridges and the Black Eyed Peas, oh and Slash but that's because I listen to my Pandora Ludacris station the same amount as my Pandora "Welcome to the Jungle" station. When the kids in my program say "whatev" I tell them that if they're going to be disrespectful, they could at least put the effort to add that "er" on to the end and make it a real word.
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 03:18 AM
I only needed to be able to call my husband, my mom, and the police. Not in that order.
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 03:23 AM
I'm not even going to Google Pandora... Kids today won't know the importance of adjectives and adverbs either. What good is pithy when you need to write a term paper? 140 characters isn't going to cut it.
Renee DeGross Valdes March 07, 2011 at 11:07 AM
My mind went straight to the -WTFBBQ- and I thought it was a bad word but found out otherwise when I looked it up. And my husband makes fun of me for not knowing pop culture. But there is one pop icon I adore. That's Chris - Ludacris. He was once the red carpet spokesman for ET! or one of those shows before the Oscars. He's so well spoken. I became a huge fan after that - and not for his music because I don't think I've ever heard any of his songs. Here's to #IAVW. I still spell out all my Tweets as much as possible.
Liz Bucko March 07, 2011 at 12:55 PM
I don't know if I have enough time (or quite frankly energy) to google all the acronyms I don't know in this article but sure like the article! And, Chris (my Chris) and I did see Ludacris and his entourage out one night last year and I do know him and the BEP's so maybe only the 43 I really am versus 50 -
Meg Clark March 07, 2011 at 07:14 PM
Pandora's actually pretty awesome-- it's internet radio that I was apparently behind the curve on, and you just plug in a band or song you like and it makes a station based entirely off that! If you're a music addict, it's about the best thing ever.
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 11:56 PM
Renee, you are the best tweeter ever. I'm sorry to say that WTFBBQ is at least one bad word. Maybe two.
Nicki Salcedo March 07, 2011 at 11:58 PM
Liz, you are lovely and relevant. I almost googled BEP's. I'm tired. And looking forward to 50.
Nicki Salcedo March 08, 2011 at 12:00 AM
People who don't believe in magic, don't believe in technology. It "makes" a station for you? Will you get to ride to work on a unicorn? That's just crazy. Technology is magic.

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