The Redneck Home Security System

My last blog post was about the benefits and weaknesses of security alarm systems, and about ways to prevent door kick-ins.  For the creative, the irreverent, and kudos to those who already use this method of prevention, I offer this solution. To the rest of you, I beg forgiveness.

Building on our intrusion prevention experience in the unique milieu of the Deep South, The Entry Enforcer is proud to introduce our foolproof, patented, copyrighted, and plagiarized anti-burglary technique, fine-tuned for this locality.   We call it:

           The Redneck Home Security System

1. Get an old pair of men's size 14 work boots from Freecycle or Value Village
 2. Sit ‘em on your front porch beside a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine.
 3. Put some big, messy dog bowls next to the boots.
 4. Tack a note to the door that says:

 "Me and Bubba and Bertha and Duke have gone for more ammo and beer.  Be right back.  Don't mess with the pit bulls; they got to the mailman this morning and messed him up bad.  Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.   Better wait outside.  -- Cooter" 

That’s the Redneck Security System -- a sure shot for home protection.

Duncan Cottrell, The Entry Enforcer, is a home improvement technician specializing in Home Intrusion Prevention.  He offers door and window reinforcing, free home security assessments, and answers questions at Duncan@EntryEnforcer.com or (404)289-6960.